


Moonlight

by itbepansam



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Ace Shiro, Allura/Lance/Pidge - Freeform, Background Relationships, Explicit Language, Katt - Freeform, M/M, Music school AU, Shiro Big Bang 2017, Trans Male Character, alcohol consumption, thulaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-08
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2019-01-31 00:30:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12664641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itbepansam/pseuds/itbepansam
Summary: After being gone for a year, Shiro returns to Voltron Academy to continue his studies as a piano major. The school has changed a bit since he left. New faces and not all of them friendly. He must summon everything he has to perform on the recital that will decide if he’s going to be eligible to be a Paladin once more. Along the way he finds a stranger’s hand helping him along and finds love woven between the strings.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Moonlight it finally here!! This was so much fun to write and I hope you all enjoy it!!

First days were always hard, especially first days that weren’t really first days. Shiro had seen these halls before. The halls of Voltron Academy; the most prestigious music university in the universe that just so happened to be stationed on Arus, which held the ability to let all walks of life breathe the same air. He had once been someone that the school admired. He was pretty sure a picture was still hung in one of the professor’s offices. He wondered if he should stop by, but he shook his head. This was about getting back into the school, back to his life. 

Back to the music. 

Finally finding the room he needed, he knocked once and was met with a cheerful beckoning response. Opening the door revealed a middle aged man with bright orange hair on his head, with a moustache to match. 

“Hello Shiro! Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t surprised to see you back here. Many of us thought you weren’t going to come back after what happened. But we’re glad you’re here.” He extended his hand. 

Shiro met the flesh hand with the his metal prosthetic - the reason he’d had to leave in the first place. He hated it with every fiber of his being, but it was his only shot back into the school of his dreams. “It's good to be back, Coran.”

“Everything looks pretty good,” Coran began as they both sat down and he began to review Shiro’s papers. “Between what your two therapists, your doctor, and your grades from before you left, we would love to have you back.”

“That’s great!” Shiro beamed. But then he noticed something off in Coran’s expression, something that showed hesitation, a bit of sadness. “What is it?”

“I know you’ve been working really hard, and that it has been tough to even get to this point.” He sighed. “I really hate that I have to say this. But in order to become a Paladin again, you’re going to have to perform on the Spring Recital.” 

Shiro’s face paled. “You’re kidding.”

A Paladin of Voltron was the highest form of praise. It meant you were somebody that everyone should take notice in. It was the elite few in the whole school who were actually worth any merit. Being a Paladin meant that you were the best of the best. Most music schools have first chairs, but this was more than that. A Paladin was someone who was someone before they were even discovered. There were only a few spots and Shiro had lost his when he had his accident. No one thought he would come back considering he was missing an entire arm. 

“I wish I was. You have six months to prepare, but you must get a good score from the judges in order to be permitted back as a full Paladin.” He looked at him sadly. “And there's one other thing.”

“More bad news?” 

“You'll have to outplay Allura.”

The shock in that one statement was enough to suck all of the oxygen out of the room. Shiro felt himself go tense. Allura was an incredibly gifted pianist as well as one of Shiro’s closest friends. She was a beast behind the keys, someone who Shiro had feared a little because of the way she played. It was intimidating, to say the last. 

“Does she know?” 

“She has been made aware, yes. She found out the moment you decided you wanted to come back to us.”

_ Advantage of being the daughter of the owner of the school. _ Shiro thought. He looked down at his hands, more importantly at the metal one that he was still trying to get the hang of moving like it was a part of him. That’s what his therapist had said, but he couldn’t quite get it. He knew he would have to if he wanted to fulfill his dream once more. 

“Let’s hope I don’t blow this then, huh?” He smiled through the pain in his heart. If he knew anything about himself, then he knew that this semester would not end prettily. Not with his level of passion for piano against Allura’s, not to mention the fact that he was at a slight disadvantage. Sure, he’d had the arm for a little more than six months, but it had been a struggle. The digits still moved like fingers, but it was sometimes difficult for them to move the way Shiro wanted them to. 

_ Guess that’s what happens when your nerves are shot. _

“I’m sure you’ll do fine, Shiro. You’ve been Voltron’s Black Paladin for so long. One little tragedy hasn’t knocked you down yet. Don’t start letting it now.”

Shiro responded with a proud smile as his heart filled with joy at the praise. He was happy that Coran believed in him, even if he hadn’t heard Shiro play since before the accident. That was enough for him stand, shake hands with Coran, then make his way towards the music building so he could practice for a few hours. He wouldn’t start classes until tomorrow, so for now he would attempt to play, his mind already forming an idea for what song to play at his recital


	2. Chapter Two

The notes came slowly. The way they just floated in the air in front of the man as he played, some used to say it was witchcraft how he could make an audience feel and see every single note he played. Unfortunately, times had changed. This was now set at a pace far too slow for the original song and it bothered Shiro to no end. He had worked tirelessly to get better with his new prosthetic - he just wasn’t totally used to it yet. He paused his playing, looking down at the metal that glinted in the fluorescent lighting of the small practice room. 

Everything dissolved slowly as his mind’s eye went back to the night he lost it.

~

_ Travels back to Earth were never a walk in the park. There had to be a lot of clearance between Arus and Earth because Alfor always had to open a portal in order for them to travel back and forth.  _

_ This particular trip was due to Shiro’s little brother, Ryou, being accepted into the culinary he had been hoping for. He was going to surprise him with a visit.  _

_ But he would never get there.  _

_ He came in too fast and hit something upon reentering. This caused him to crash land on Earth. He had survived, but he had been severely damaged. Scars littered his body, including a particularly nasty one that danced across his nose. Included in his injuries, was the decimation of his right arm. He didn't know this at the time, but it had gotten caught at an awkward angle between two pieces of metal and the rescuers were forced to saw it off in order to free him.  _

_ He had woken up in a hospital room with his right arm missing and he was completely alone. Not even a phone call from his parents.  _

_ Shiro had tried to call Ryou. Or more, he picked his name and hovered over the call button but couldn't bring himself to do it. So he sat alone in that hospital bed, save for the occasional visit from his nurse and his closest friend, Keith, who had called him a few days later to make sure he had landed safely. Having that conversation was not a fun one. _

~

The sound of something tapping on glass brought Shiro back to the present. His head whipped around to find a face he hadn’t seen in some time. 

“Ulaz!” Shiro smiled, opening the door for his friend. They gave each other a firm handshake. Galra were not ones to hug those that they did not consider mates. All touching needed to have either platonic intentions or were strictly business. 

“It is good to see you, Shiro. I had heard you were back in Voltron Academy, but I did not wish to believe it until I saw you myself.” He smiled in return. “How are you?”

Shiro knew Ulaz well enough to know that he was asking more than just how he was faking it. Ulaz had seen the worst parts of him in that hospital room, though he did not deserve it. He was the only nurse who had actually shown Shiro any sort of kindness or patience.

“Oh, you know. I’m still getting a bit used to it. You know that I will never be able to repay you for helping me out.” 

“I only did what any decent-” He was cut off by the look on Shiro’s face. “No, you’re right. They were awful to you. ”

“I’m aware.” The statement came out in a manner that might have seemed rude to anyone who would have been listening in. But that was just how he and Ulaz interacted - blunt.

Ulaz had been the one person who had shown Shiro mercy throughout his stay at the hospital; the only one who fed him, dressed him, and made sure he lived to the next day. 

“I only wish I had acted sooner.”

           Shiro owed his life to Ulaz. 

~

_ “Shiro, please!” Ulaz voice was desperate as he stood in the hospital room, desperately trying to reach out, but knowing any actual touching would send Shiro’s state further into turmoil. They both knew it. Shiro was doing his best to fight back the demons, but he was failing.   _

_ “No! I’m not doing anything until you get me more morphine! I need it, Ulaz!”  _

_ “You do not. You merely want it so you can continue to be a lifeless corpse that terrorizes the staff and your friends.” _

_ “What friends?!” Shiro’s faced was streaming tears, his voice hoarse as he yelled, his weak body barely being held up by the IV unit he grasped onto so tightly. “You and Keith are the only ones who have given enough of a fuck to come here. And you have to come because you work here! I don’t have actual friends. No one cares about a fucked up musician who can’t play music anymore!” His knees were weak but he wouldn’t fall. Not yet. He had to be strong. _

_ “Is that what you think?” Ulaz’s voice was strangely calm and quiet, despite Shiro’s anguish. “You think you are helpless? Beyond repair?” _

_ “It’s the truth. I can’t play anymore, Ulaz. I’m broken. I’m no longer a Paladin of Voltron.” _

_ “I have been talking with a friend of mine, Antok. He is a skilled engineer. He believes he can make you an artificial arm that works just as well, if not better than the one you were born with.” _

_ This is what caused Shiro to fall to his knees and cry out.  _

_ He could have a second chance. Ulaz was giving him a second chance. _

_ He had to be sure not to mess up this time. _

~

“What are you working on currently?” Ulaz asked, eyeing the sheets of paper on the piano. 

“Oh.” Shiro turned back to the piano. “Probably the slowest rendition of Beethoven’s  _ Moonlight Sonata _ .” He sat down on the bench, grey hues dancing over the notes on the page and then waltzing around on the piano keys, though not playing. He merely ghosted over the black and white keys. 

“Is there any reason you're struggling?”

“Just not quite used to the new gear yet. I can play chords just fine for like, jam sessions, but I still struggle to play little intricate notes. Seems like I can pretty much forget playing anything by Chopin or Mozart.” Shiro shook his head,  metal hand clenching for a moment. 

Mozart happened to be Shiro's favorite composer. There was just a way Mozart had gone about creating music that left him in awe. The first time he had heard Mozart’s  _ Requiem _ , he had cried for an hour. He had just loved the way the notes laid themselves out for him, how the music swelled within him and made him feel every since pluck of the strings, every note the choir sang, every moving finger of the piano. He never would have imagined a piece of music would make him feel that way.

“I’m sure you’ll get it one day. What’s the saying you’re always saying to Keith? ‘Patience yields focus’ yes?”

Shiro rolled his eyes, though a smile did split across his face. If only he could practice what he preached. 

“You will be fine come May. I know it to be true. You are more than you give yourself credit for. You are more than that arm and those scars. You are Takashi Shirogane. Former and Soon-To-Be-Again Paladin of Voltron. A man who can evoke every emotion you could possibly imagine simply by sitting in front of a set of keys.”

Shiro smiled at him. “Thank you, Ulaz.”

Ulaz smiled in return, bowed his head slightly, then left the room, leaving the pianist in a better mood than before, and ready to get back to Beethoven. 


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start Happening

Shiro stepped into the warm building to escape the cold of the planet’s peculiar weather. Humans had to be careful, while it was inhibitable, it was still dangerous to live on this planet in order to attend Voltron Academy. it was never surprising to hear music bleeding into the hallways. The practice rooms should have been soundproof, but over the years of usage that feature became a thing of the past. What was surprising, however, was the crystal clear music that jumped out to Shiro. Those sounds were not hidden away in a practice room. They were out in the open for all to hear. 

The bright tones of the strings were immediately recognizable to Shiro as Mozart’s  _ Divertimento for String Trio,  _ though it was obviously Theme and Variations, easily able to pick out where exactly they were in the music, even without seeing it. He felt himself perk up immediately, a smile breaking out as he searched for the source of the glorious music. 

It did not take long for him to find the trio. They were in a semi circle. Ulaz was one of them. Next to him sat his fiance Thace and someone Shiro had never seen before. They were Galra, just as Thace and Ulaz were, but there was something about them that made them different. They wore thier long white hair in a single braid and laid on their shoulder. They bore a scar over their right eye and Shiro felt himself subconsciously touch the one on his nose. 

Ulaz played the viola. A simple instrument and one that was often looked down upon within the orchestra. Yet somehow Ulaz was able to invoke such wonderful and glorious sounds from it that one would have thought the viola was the most beloved instrument of all. And of course there was Thace, the violinist. He kept glancing at Ulaz and smiling before looking back to the music. It was obvious that he loved the music, and that he also loved his mate. They were synonymous to him. And then there was the stranger. Shiro hadn’t seen them open their eyes  _ once _ since he’d gotten there. They were using their entire body and face to express the music that came from their instrument: the cello. Shiro had always admired the cello, and now that admiration was tenfold because of the raw power that this stranger was letting flow through them as they played. 

The piece ended all too quickly and Shiro joined in the small group of students who had stayed to listen in the applause. The trio stood, bowed, and began to pack away their instruments. Shiro went over to Ulaz, smiling brightly. 

“That was beautiful.” 

“You enjoyed it?” Ulaz questioned, glancing over at the other two. 

“Oh, definitely!”

“See, Kolivan,” he looked to the stranger. “I told you that it would cheer him up. One of these days you’ll learn to listen to me.” That caused the stranger, Kolivan, to scoff and roll their eyes. Ulaz turned back to Shiro. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. I knew you liked Mozart a great deal and after our chat last week, I believed this would help.”

“Ulaz, you’re a dear friend. Thank you.” He pressed his hand against the other’s arm. 

“Ah, but you should not be thanking me, my friend. Thank Kolivan. I told them about our talk, and they wanted to play for you. They only disagreed on the piece.”

Shiro turned to Kolivan with bright blush on his cheeks. He hoped his scar would cover it, but it mostly was just accented by the pink cheeks. Kolivan turned and eyed him. It seemed neither knew what to say in that moment. 

“I had heard Ulaz speak highly of you. You are a gifted pianist, and many around the universe have heard you play. One hoped that a little Mozart might invoke some inspiration within you.” Shiro’s face flushed even more. 

“I- Well, thank you, Kolivan.” He turned to Ulaz. “I must go. I’ll see you around.” And just like that, he was gone, legs carrying him as fast as he could manage without seeming in a panic. Though for all intents and purposes, he was. 

Had they just  _ flirted  _ with him?

Shiro was unsure what to do. So he ran. Finding an empty practice room far enough away that he felt safe, he went in and sat down on the piano bench in a state of shock. He hadn’t even realized he was playing until he came down from his mild panic to find that his fingers had started to play. He realized he was playing Debussy’s  _ Claire De Lune.  _ A truly glorious piece of music, but it didn’t fit his mood so he paused, lifting his fingers from the keys and his foot from the pedal. 

He took a breath, then lowered himself into the beginning of another Debussy piece:  _ Arabesque No. 1.  _ Something heartfelt and awe inspiring, to match the tone of what he had just witnessed. He filled with so much courage and motivation that he just played without really taking notice in what he was doing. He lost himself to his work, to the way the piano perfectly echoed his mood. He felt so at peace as he played and let himself shine in this brief moment alone in a practice room. The advantages of listening to music nonstop and having perfect pitch was that he didn’t really need to look at sheet music unless he was unfamiliar with the piece. Debussy was a composer that Shiro was extremely familiar with, having studied him, Chopin and Mozart extensively over the years. 

Once finished, he sat there in the silence for a few moments, smiling to himself. He felt so at peace and serene. He opened his eyes and in the corner of his eye saw a figure standing in the doorway. Glancing over he saw that it was Kolivan. 

Shiro got up and opened the door. “Can I help you?”

“You are in my room.”

Shiro didn’t know what response he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that. 

“I’m sorry?”

“The room you’re in? It is mine.”

“I don’t see your name on it.” Shiro crossed his arms over his chest, suddenly defensive.

“No. But I am in this practice room every day, as many can attest.” 

That made Shiro pause. He knew how he was when it came to his own sense of order, so he knew how it felt when that was disturbed by something. Glancing at the scar on Kolivan’s face, he assumed it was the same. He felt bad now for having been defensive, especially to someone who had been so kind to him. 

“Can I make it up to you somehow?” 

“What do you have in mind?” Kolivan’s ears perked up  and Shiro cursed himself slightly for finding that adorable.

“How about coffee?” 

It was Kolivan’s turn to pause. “I prefer tea, but alright. And when will this be happening?”

“How’s three sound?” Far enough away that Kolivan could back out, but still close enough that they could come. 

“I will meet you in front of the library.” 

For the second time in two minutes, Shiro was shocked into silence. This time, he was accompanied by a growing blush. He blinked a couple times before nodding to the other. “See you then.”

Kolivan nodded, beginning to walk away. He halted, and turned his head back. “Oh, and Shiro? You sound wonderful. Don’t be afraid of the more complex pieces. You’re ready.”

The door closed, leaving Shiro alone to think about what had just transpired. He was going on a date with someone he had just met. Did said person think it was a date? Did they think it was just what Shiro had thought it was? Why was Shiro so nervous about this now? And why could they make his heart skip beats? 

And what had he gotten himself into?

\-----

It was three before Shiro even had time to blink. He stood outside the the music hall, bouncing on the balls of his feet so as to keep him blood pumping and stay warm in the bitter cold. He didn’t know how Arus could have what he equated to snow, but it did and he was was  _ freezing. _ Hopefully Kolivan would show up soon so his nerves would calm down enough for him to think properly.

Thankfully, Shiro didn’t have to wait that long before they suddenly appeared at his side, nearly giving him a heart attack.

“Jesus! You scared me!’ He placed his hand on his chest as he felt his heart race. It was hard to tell if that was from the scare or just being in Kolivan’s presence. It was probably a bit of both. 

“I apologize. That was not my intent. Are you alright?” They seemed to genuinely care, which was something Shiro wasn’t used to from very many people.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just don’t like being startled.” He looked them up and down. “You ready to head to Ezor’s?”

They nodded and offered their arm for Shiro to hold. “You are cold, yes? My fur can keep you warm and I can brace against the sharp wind better than you can.”

“I think I can manage fine on my own, thank y-” He was cut off by an intensely bone-chilling gust of wind hitting them, causing Shiro to instinctively move towards Kolivan for warmth. They smirked down at him, but he merely rolled his eyes. Though he could not stop the way his heart skipped a few beats as they stood so closely together. He looked down as his other arm motioned for them to lead the way.

After a few minutes of walking, Shiro finally grew up enough courage to try and have some conversation. 

“I wanted to thank you for agreeing to coffee with me,” he stated. “I know you didn’t have to and you could have told me to get lost.” 

“I wanted to. You’re the most gifted musician in Voltron Academy. Anyone would kill to be in my place.”

“You’re too kind. Besides, I’m not the best. Allura’s had a whole year to play without me as a distraction.”

“No, you mistake me. I did not say  _ pianist. _ I said  _ musician. _ ” 

Shiro’s heart actually stopped for half a second.

“How- How can you even say that after the way you performed today?” He looked up at them. “You didn’t look at your music  _ once _ while you played with Thace and Ulaz. And it was still perfect.”

“You do the same, do you not?”

“I used to. I can’t anymore because of-”

“You did so today.”

Shiro went quiet, frozen in shock with himself. Kolivan was right. He had played without looking at music. He looked away from them, shame rising within him, though a small bubble of pride rose in his heart and he smiled to himself. 

The rest of the walk to Ezor’s was quiet, almost quaint if not for the harsh winds and Shiro’s own mind kicking him. They finally made it to the coffeeshop and found a seat inside, next to the window. A man with purple skin and long white hair, not unlike Allura’s, walked up to them. 

“Welcome to Ezor’s! What can I get for the two of you?” He asked. His name tag read Lotor.

“I’ll take a black coffee,” Shiro said as he removed some of the layers he was wearing and set them on the back of his chair while Kolivan ordered some sort of fancy galra drink and then did the same. 

“You are adjusting well?” They asked once they were both situated. 

“It’s a process, but good days like today help,” he smiled. “You helped with that.”

Kolivan smiled, and even in the buzz of the shop, Shiro heard them purr proudly. It was adorable and made Shiro melt a little. 

He didn’t know what it was, but something about Kolivan felt so safe to Shiro. They felt like someone that he could confide anything in. It had been so long since Shiro had felt like this with anyone, save for Ulaz or Keith. It was both terrifying and intriguing all at once and Shiro was addicted to it so easily. 

“You are a truly gifted musician, Shiro. Voltron Academy is lucky to have you.” 

Why was it so easy for Shiro’s insides to become a flurry of emotions to the words Kolivan said? And why was it so easy for Kolivan to say them?

“How can you say these things so easily?”

“Because they are true.” 

Shiro was happy that their server, Lotor, returned with their drinks then because he probably would have ended up as a puddle on the floor in that moment. Kolivan was too sweet and he wasn’t sure how much of it his heart could take at that moment. Thankfully his bitter coffee helped to balance out the fluttering butterflies in his chest. He sipped at his coffee, closing his eyes as the heat helped to ease his nerves and warm him up from the cold outside. 

“You flatter me.”

“You deserve to be flattered. It does not happen nearly enough.”

Shiro rolled his eyes, sipping at his coffee.

“I think that is what I like about you most,” Kolivan said before taking a sip of their drink. “You are very modest. Even before your accident, you did not take well to such praise. I think it is remarkable.”

“Well, you’d be the first.” Shiro gave a small smile, which was returned. “So, tell me about yourself. I don’t know much about you and I’m curious.”

Kolivan hesitated for a moment but eased into the conversation easily. Over the next few hours they each swapped stories back and forth between themselves. Kolivan told of his fraternity, the Bows of Marmora, which was a super secret group of string players. They were all extremely close, having found a family within themselves. Kolivan was referred to as the parent due to being the leader. Shiro told of the mischief he and his brother had caused back home by pulling pranks on their father and being overall miscreants because of how he treated them.

“Your father is cruel, and I am glad you were able to save yourself from that place.” Kolivan stated as he downed the rest of his drink.

“Yeah,” Shiro looked down at him empty cup. “I just wish I could have known how Ryou ended up.”

“Why don’t you contact him?”

“Last I heard, he was off being an amazing chef. He doesn’t need to know what happened to me and why. I want him to focus on his happiness. He deserves that much at least.” 

“You deserve happiness, too, Shiro.”

Shiro didn’t answer, just continued to look down at his cup. The date ended not long after. 


	4. Chapter Four

“So how long have you and Kolivan been dating?”

The question came so easily from Allura’s smirking lips, causing Shiro to whip his head up from his laptop that he had been staring at for the last hour. 

            “What?!”

            “You and Kolivan. You know: tall, handsome, got a scar on their eye, plays the cello.”

            “I know who they are, but why would you think we're dating?” Shiro sat up now, cracking his back from having been laying on the floor while doing some music theory.

             “Well, for starters you had that coffee date at Ezor’s three weeks ago. And since then you've been hanging out around their practice room and them around yours. So, are you dating, or are you just flirting?” 

             “I… don't know.” He confessed. “I mean, we haven't kissed or anything yet, but like, we definitely flirt with one another. To the point that had we been dating, I'm fairly certain they would have fucked me in at least three different practice rooms by now.”

             “SHIRO!” Allura exclaimed, flabbergasted, causing Shiro to snort with laughter.

             He ducked as she threw a pencil at him. It was always so easy to get the princess riled up. She may have been nosy, but if you told her something she didn't want to know, then she immediately tried to get you back. 

             “Alright, Mr. Mozart. _ Sonata for Two Pianos _ . Come on.” She pulled him up and put him in front of one piano while she plopped herself in front of the other one. She was lucky he loved Mozart. 

             The duo began to play, neither needing the music because it was easily their favorite piece to play together, having done it for years. This was one of those moments where Shiro’s arm actually worked the way an arm was supposed to. The nerves connected to the arm worked with his brain and he was able to keep up with Allura just as he had been able to back before he lost his arm. It reminded of him how he had been able to play those Debussy pieces with ease. 

While they played, Shiro thought about how he and Allura would play together before everything happened. They had been best friends, though no one was as close to him as Keith. He and Allura were often rivals due to playing the same instrument.

Competitions always brought out the worst in people. 

But even despite all that, they had remained loyal friends to one another. If one were to win a competition or an award, the other would be the first one to congratulate them. They had nearly lost their friendship from one competition. They never wanted that to happen again. 

Often Shiro wondered what Allura had done while he had been incapacitated by the crash and then in the hospital for two months. The two people who visited him were Ulaz and Keith. He had had no contact to anyone else as he recovered. It broke his heart most of the time. But things like this, being able to play a beloved song with Allura again, helped heal him. 

Shiro feared for their friendship as they neared closer to the recital. Shiro knew that his passion for the school and the instrument beneath his fingers would get the better of him. There was too much riding on this for him to not take this seriously. He could already feel himself to detaching from Allura, even as they played together. 

Somewhere in the middle of the song, the door had opened and in walked a small person. They didn’t interrupt the piece, which Shiro was thankful for. He wasn’t sure how he would react to having to stop in the middle of one of his favorite pieces with a close friend. Once finished, he looked at them and recognized them as Matt’s sibling. 

“Oh! Pidge!” Allura turned and beamed. They kissed and Shiro half wondered when that had started. He decided against asking after seeing the bright smile on Allura’s face. 

“We're going to lunch. Would you like you join us?” 

“No, I'm okay. Promised Keith I'd eat with him.” He waved them off. They left hand in hand, chattering away about something Pidge had built.

Shiro resumed his place on the ground to continue with his music theory. He only was able to get a little more done before Keith came in and sat down in front of him without any prompting. He was tense and looked very uneasy. 

“Keith, what's going on? Is everything okay?”

“I like Matt and I'm not sure how to deal with it.”

“What do you mean?” Shiro questioned, unsure if he had heard Keith correctly. 

“What does it sound like? I like Matt. I want to hold his hand and kiss his cute face and take him out to dinner. But I don't know how to deal with the fact that I want to do all these things because I’m supposed to be the cool, mysterious, guitar guy.” There was a slight blush on Keith's cheeks as he spoke that he was desperately trying to cover with his bangs.

Shiro chuckled. 

“Have you tried asking him out?”

That, apparently, was the wrong answer. 

“I can't just  _ ask him out  _ Shiro!”

“And why not?”

“Because he probably doesn't like me like that. I'm the  _ loner _ remember? The loner doesn't get the guy. The loner watches as the guy slowly falls for someone else.” His voice was raspy, a clear indication that this was very important to Keith. His hands were fidgeting and his brow was creased. It was always easy to tell what Keith was feeling if one only watched his body language and listened to the tone of his voice. 

“Alright, bud. Let's calm down together, yeah?” He moved his things out of the way and situated himself in from of his friend. “Knees?” Keith nodded and allowed Shiro to put his hands on his knees. They had been friends for years, and this was how they checked in to see if physical contact was okay. They were both touch starved, but also touch averse at times, so it was nice to always have this failsafe security.  

“Alright. Let's take a nice, deep breath.” Keith listened to him. “Good, okay. Now hold it.” He counted allowed and thumped his finger against Keith's leg. “Now slowly release. Good. Can we do it one more time?” Keith nodded so they started over. This helped calm Keith down to a point where he could properly look at Shiro. 

“There we go.” Shiro smiled. “Alright, now I want you to listen to me, okay? You are an amazing guy and anyone wild be  _ lucky _ to have the chance to date you. I know feelings are scary and you feel like the world is going to be ripped out from under you in an instant. But Matt’s a good guy. I don't think he has a mean bone in his body. Everything's gonna be okay. Okay?”

Keith stilled for a moment before smiling and nodding. “Thanks, Shiro.” 

“What are best friends for?”

They smiled together for a moment, then looked when there was a knock on the door. It was Kolivan, who Shiro waved inside. But Kolivan only smiled, shook his head, then waved before leaving. 

“So, what's the story with them?” Keith asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“As soon as I figure it out, I'll tell you.” Shiro scratched the back of his neck.

“Have you tried talking to them? I feel like that's a better option that skirting around everything.” 

Shiro shrugged. “It's hard to tell where they stand sometimes. I'm not even sure if they realizes we've been  _ dating _ .” He paused for a moment, voice growing soft. “The amount of times I've wanted to kiss them is unreal.”

“Just ask them. Shiro, you're an amazing guy. Anyone would be  _ lucky  _ to date you.” He teased, a smirk forming on his lips. 

“You're the worst.” He lightly shoved his friend, who had started laughing. 

If only it were that easy for Shiro to feel confident. He didn't like his own appearance. Between the arm that was not his, and the scar across his nose and the countless scars on his body. How could anyone find him attractive? He could barely look at himself in a mirror for longer than a few minutes. 

“You'll be fine. Just talk to them.” 

“How?”

“Let’s go to lunch and we can discuss it there.”

Shiro nodded, beginning to put his stuff in his backpack. Once it was all put away, they made their way to the cafeteria, which was busy as ever. While waiting in line, they began to discuss various tactics. 

“I mean, you could always just go up to them right now and ask.”

“Well, I’m a coward so that’s not gonna happen.”

“What are galra customs?”

“I don’t know. You’re the one who’s half galra.”

Keith stuck out his tongue. “Fine, maybe I won’t help you.”

Shiro reached out and grabbed his arm. “No, please. I’ll be good. Please.”

They arrived at the front of the line and ordered their food. Keith got a burger with fries while Shiro got little what he pretended were chicken nuggets but would never actually ask what they really were with a large helping of tater tots. He’ll never understand how Arusians knew about tater tots but he wouldn’t ask about that either because they were his favorite. 

Once they found a spot they sat down and began to eat a bit before continuing with their conversation. 

“I know they do more of like courting, but I’m not sure when it becomes like an established relationship,” Keith said as he stuffed a handful of fries in his mouth. “Thace and Ulaz have been courting for as long as I’ve known either of them. I don’t think there’s been a time when they weren’t courting.”

“Well, that makes sense if they’re going to get married in June.”

“Shiro, I think you’re going to have to say something. They have different customs than us. You have to break through that barrier. Pidge, Lance and Allura had to do that because of Allura being Altean. Same with Hunk and Shay. You have to talk to Kolivan and figure out what it is you’re doing. I know you don’t want to, but you have to. I don’t want to see you get hurt because you let this drag on for too long without talking to them.”

Shiro didn’t respond, just looked down at his tater tots. He didn’t know how he was going to talk to Kolivan. What do you even say in that sort of situation? He supposed he would have to figure it out.


	5. Chapter Five

A few weeks later, on a particularly cool Friday, the school excitedly chatted about the weekend. There was to be a party and everyone was buzzing. 

Shiro was walking with Matt and Keith, who were holding hands, towards the music building. They passed several groups of people who were all talking about the party. Once they entered the music building, they found it nearly empty, which was odd. 

Shiro was about to speak up when he heard the opening notes to  _ Venus  _ from Holst’s  _ The Planets.  _ He recalled one of his last conversations with Kolivan where they had discussed  _ The Planets _ at length and how he had always associated  _ Venus _ with love due to it be the name of the Roman goddess of love. 

A little walk towards the music led him down a few hallways before finally finding Kolivan standing in their practice room, dressed to the nines. They were wearing what looked like the fanciest robe Shiro had ever seen. The way the purple accents contrasted against the black robe, somehow brought out the red in their fur made them look stunning. It took Shiro’s breath away.

“Hello, Shiro. I wished to speak with you and I got a  _ little _ carried away in my presentation. Though perhaps it just makes what I say more clear.” They paused for a moment, seeming to collect their thoughts. “These past few weeks have been truly amazing, though I fear I have not been as forward as I had hoped in my intentions.”

“What are you-?”

“I wish to court you. I know our traditions when it comes to mating are different, but I wish to accommodate for both of us and to learn along the way.” 

That stunned Shiro into a silence. 

“I- You want to-” He couldn’t form a complete sentence. He had been planning on talking to Kolivan during their play session. But now, here Kolivan stood with a hopeful expression on his face that made Shiro’s insides go all tingly.

“Okay.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.” He felt his entire face light up bright red. He saw Kolivan smile and his heart melted right there on the spot. He stepped forward, reaching out to take their hand. He was shaking a little from excitement. 

“Can I kiss you?” Shiro asked. 

“What is that?”

“It’s a way that humans show affection. It’d be easier if I showed you.” He stepped forward hesitantly. When Kolivan did not back away, Shiro closed the space between them fully, a hand reaching up to bring their face down as he went up on his tiptoes. They met like two supernovas finally colliding. Everything felt perfect and safe. Shiro allowed himself to be held closely and firmly in Kolivan’s arms while his own wrapped around the galra’s neck so as to make it easier to kiss them. 

They only stopped for a moment so that they could smile before they resumed kissing. Kolivan’s hands traveled down Shiro’s body to his legs and easily lifted him, causing Shiro to gasp. Kolivan sat down on the piano bench with Shiro in their lap and Shiro couldn’t help but giggle. He knew that Kolivan was bigger than him, but the fact that they had been so easily able to lift him made him flush. 

“Why does your face change colors like that? Does it mean something?” Kolivan asked, head tilted slightly. 

“Oh,” his blush deepened. “It's a human response to certain things. Mostly embarrassment.”

“Why are your embarrassed?”

“Well, I'm usually the bigger one when I date people because of my build and height. But now, I'm the smaller one and I'm.. flustered.” He tried to hide behind his hand as he giggled. 

“You are flustered because you are smaller than me?”

“It's a good flustered. I'm just not used to it. Not yet at least. But I will be. I adapt easily. I mean, hell, I've been able to adapt to having  _ this, _ ” he motioned towards his arm, “and I've been okay so far. Other than  _ Moonlight _ .”

“Still having trouble with that piece?” Shiro nodded. “Do you know what it is you’re not getting?”

“If I did, do you think I would still be struggling?” He quipped, though he quickly grimaced. “Sorry. I’m frustrated. But I want to do this piece. I’m saving Mozart for when I become a Paladin again. So Beethoven it is. The composer I detest the most. Gonna try and put all my resentment towards my arm into it. Maybe that will help me do better. I know it’s more of a slower piece, but I want to do something that makes everyone in the audience feel every emotion that I felt while I was trapped in that hospital.” Shiro’s eyes had fixated on a spot on Kolivan’s clothes, mind lost to his thoughts. 

He didn’t even notice the hard expression Kolivan was wearing.

\-----

The evening began with a flash of lights and loud music. There were so many people in the dorm hall. The RA could be found with a bottle of tequila and a couple of his boyfriends all lounged across a couch. 

“Shiro!” Lance yelled over the music as he greeted him. “So glad you could make it! I wasn’t sure if you were going to come. But here you are!” He was so excited. Shiro knew that Lance had always had a sort of infatuation with him, and it seemed that it hadn’t faltered since he had started dating Allura and Pidge. “What can I get you to drink? I made this  _ amazing _ daiquiri, you  _ have _ to try it!” 

“Alright, sure. I’m here to have some fun. So, let’s see what kind of mischief we can get into.” He smiled. 

Lance fist bumped the air as he hollered. “ _ That’s _ what I’m talking about! I need to bring you to more parties I go to.”

Within a few minutes, Shiro had a drink in his hand and a girl asking him to dance. He shrugged, seeing no harm in a simple dance. He drank as he danced, allowing the girl to grind against him to the beat of the song. He lost himself to the alcohol, dancing and the music. 

After about three drinks in as many songs, he felt a body behind him. He looked back and found that it was Kolivan, who was glaring at the girl who was still grinding against him. She took the hint quickly, and let them be. Then Kolivan’s glare was turned to Shiro.

“Why the long face? It’s a party, we’re here to have fun.”

“I am your mate. You are not supposed to mate with others, even if they are of your race. I know we haven’t been doing this long, but if you weren’t serious, then you should have told me at the beginning, rather than leading me on and letting me get attached to you.” 

Shiro was dumbfounded. He didn’t understand where this was coming from. It wasn’t like Shiro could-

And then it hit him. 

“Kolivan, wait!” He reached out to them, catching their wrist. “Come with me, I need to explain something to you.”

He led them away from the loud music towards a place they could talk without anyone listening in. It was a little cubby corner next to a window with a sill they could sit on. He looked at Kolivan and saw how angry they still were and it broke his heart a little because it was  _ his fault  _ they were upset. So he took a deep breath and came clean. 

“I apologize if I made it seem that I was being unfaithful towards you,” he began. “That was not my intention. I wanted to have some fun and dance with someone and I did not know you were coming or I would have waited and danced with you. But there is something that you should know about me and  _ why _ I didn’t see anything wrong with dancing with that girl.

“I’m not sure if there is something like this where you’re from, but on Earth there are some people who are transgender, which means the gender they were assigned at birth, does not match the gender their brain is telling them they are. I was born as ‘female’ but my brain told me ‘male.’ So when I was eighteen, I started taking this drug called testosterone so that I could look more like the guy I knew I was. Working out helped and I was able to pass after a few months.”

“How is this possible? You do not look like a female? And you do not smell like one.” Kolivan’s voice was soft. They were curious, but still a little upset, which was understandable. 

“The testosterone helps. And then…” He looked away, closing his eyes. “While I was hospital after my accident, I had a procedure that would make sure I couldn’t have any offspring.” He opened his eyes, though his gaze was somewhere far off. “I had to talk Ulaz into doing it because I didn’t trust any of the doctors there. He said he would do it. The rest is a little fuzzy, but I remember waking up and Ulaz telling me the operation had been a success. And that I would be unable to have children now.”

“So, you cannot produce offspring?”

“That is correct.” 

“Would you ever want children?”

Shiro paused, looking up at Kolivan. An image popped in his head, one where they sat together on a couch as a couple of kits came and jumped on them. It filled his heart with joy. He knew that they had just started dating, but after the past couple of months of flirting and being around one another, Shiro had fallen hard for Kolivan. He already felt so safe with them. And now it was tenfold. 

“I do. But I can’t..” 

Kolivan took his hands in theirs, covering them completely with their sheer size.

“I’m sorry for making you think I was cheating on you. It won’t happen again. I’d love to have a dance with you.”  He smiled, trying to change the subject.

“Hopefully more than a dance, yes?” 

Shiro laughed and rolled his eyes. 

They made their way back to the dance floor and pulled each other close to dance on each other. Shiro grinded against them and smirked at the rumbles that came from their chest. Their hands wandered around each other’s bodies as their lips met ferociously. 

The night went on and they continued with this, drinking intermittently. Somewhere in the middle, Shiro’s head got turned upside down and everything went blurry until he blacked out. 

He awoke the morning with only a tank top and his boxers, with Kolivan’s arm slung over him. Looking back, he saw that Kolivan was shirtless. He smiled warmly, but then Shiro began to panic. He got out of bed quickly, pushing them away chest heaving as the panic attack set in. 

“Shiro, what is wrong?” Kolivan’s voice called out, still in a state of sleep. 

“Did we…?” He couldn’t bring himself to say it. 

“Did we what?” They seemed more awake now, but still confused. 

“Did we fuck? Did we have sex? Did we-?”

“Shiro, no.” They were immediately up and at his side trying to get him to look at them, though his eyes were closed as he waited for the answer. 

“Please, Kolivan. I have to know. Did we have sex?”

“Shiro, I promise you nothing happened. You had puked, then passed out and I carried you back to my dorm. I got you out of your messy clothes. I sleep shirtless. I would not take advantage of you like this.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He sat down on the bed, face in his hands as he tried to calm down. 

“Is this related to what you told me last night?” Kolivan asked. 

“No, it’s different. I.. I can’t have sex. I mean, I can, I just… I also can’t.”

“I do not understand.”

“When I was seventeen, the guy I was dating took advantage of me. It really messed me up. And I haven’t been able to be with anyone  _ in that way _ ever since. I try, but there’s just no spark there. I’d rather cuddle with you than have sex with you. Like, sure I get aroused sometimes. But I can just as quickly get turned off and not want to do anything. I’m sorry.”

“There is no need to apologize. I am glad you told me. I would not wish to upset you by having you think sex is necessary for our relationship. I wished to be with you because of your character, not because of our abilities to procreate. I care for  _ you _ , Shiro, not your genitals.”

Shiro started to cry, leaning against Kolivan who held him close. They stayed like that for a while until Kolivan made them both some breakfast. They stayed together for the rest of the day, sitting in Kolivan’s nest bed and just talking for a while, explaining each other’s customs until Shiro headed back to his own dorm. 

He laid in bed that night, staring up at the ceiling and feeling more at peace than he ever had in his whole life. 


	6. Chapter Seven

The months seemed to flow together for Shiro. He practiced every day, trying to make this piece as perfect as possible. Some days he would be fine, while others he struggled to play anything right. It had become increasingly frustrating, especially as they grew closer to the date of the recital. 

“I can’t get it, Kolivan! I can’t do this stupid fucking run with my right hand, because it isn’t mine! How am I supposed to perform in this when I can’t even play a simple run?!” He was in hysterics, visibly upset to the point of holding back tears. 

Everything was riding on this. He  _ had _ to play it perfectly. One mess up could result in not becoming a Paladin again. And it tore him up inside. He wanted this so badly, and the fact that he could see it slipping through his fingers made him lash out. 

“Shiro, please calm down. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

“I don’t  _ care,  _ Kolivan! Don’t you understand?! I can’t be a Paladin anymore if I can’t get this stupid run right. The recital is  _ tomorrow _ . This should have been perfect,  _ weeks  _ ago. But because I’m incompetent-”

“No.” Kolivan’s voice was harsh and caused Shiro to flinch. “You are capable of doing this. You are the most talented pianist I know. You are capable of bringing emotions to a single note whereas others need a whole line. You are Takashi Shirogane. You were a Paladin once and you shall be again. Just let the music flow through you.”

Shiro didn't look at them, just fixed his gaze on his hands as tears slipped down his face. He was so terrified of not becoming a Paladin again. He already believed himself to be broken, so to not become a Paladin again would destroy him. He felt Kolivan’s hands on his shoulders and reached up to interlace their fingers. Kolivan purred softly as they pressed their front against Shiro’s back, easing the tension just slightly. 

“I know it has been rough for you. I would do anything to go back in time and never let this tragedy beseech you.” Kolivan spoke softly. “But you are so much more capable of greatness than you give yourself credit for. I know you think lowly of yourself, but please know that I think you are magnificent. The first day I heard you play, I knew that you would be this school’s greatest accomplishment. You are so incredible and I will tell you these things until the day I die.”

Shiro cried while they spoke. He wanted to believe Kolivan. He really did. The fact of the matter was that he was not used to such praise. And every time Kolivan did this, Shiro became a mess. Kolivan just let him cry, knowing that sometimes he just needed to release all of his pent up emotions. It wasn't healthy to hold everything in but Shiro couldn't help it. He didn't ever want to burden anyone, especially those closest to him. Kolivan had come to learn this and found it easier to just let him emote himself. He had said it was odd because Galra do not do this, but since they had come to care about Shiro, none of that mattered to them. After a few minutes, Shiro seemed to calm down and leaned against Kolivan, clearly exhausted. 

“You have worked hard today. Let us get some food and head back to your place.”

“Okay.” Shiro mumbled softly. 

They stood up, Kolivan’s hands never leaving Shiro. It had become something that comforted both of them. It eased Shiro, letting him know for sure that Kolivan was there for him. And it let Kolivan feel like they were helping, and letting them have physical contact with Shiro eased them that they were still wanted. 

An hour later they sat on the couch in Shiro’s studio apartment, with takeout laid out on the table before them. Shiro wasn't really eating, just moving the food around with his chopsticks. Kolivan noticed this and frowned.

“You need to eat, my love.” 

Shiro did not answer, he merely continued to move around his food. After a moment, he sighed loudly as he put his food on the table. He looked over at Kolivan, who sat at the other end of the couch. 

“Why do you stay?”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand.” Kolivan’s frown deepened. 

“Why are you still here? Why do you still care? I’m a disaster. I mess up and everything falls apart. I lash out. I can’t even have sex with you without freaking out. Why do you even stay? I can’t do anything right, so why stay in a relationship with a broken man?” 

“Because I love you.”

Silence. 

“I love you, Shiro. I have never felt this way about anyone I have ever met. But you have stolen my heart.”

“How can you say that? How can you  _ mean  _ that?” He was no longer looking at Kolivan. He didn’t think he could bare it. Not with those words spewing from their mouth.

“Because it is true. Because you have conquered so much even though you have been beaten down at every turn. You rise to every occasion with a strong will and a fierce determination. That is how you survived so long, and why you are going to give your best performance tomorrow. And why whenever you walk into a room, you take my breath away. You are so incredibly powerful that for a moment I forget that I am yours and I feel as though I am unworthy to even breathe the same air as you.” 

Kolivan reached over and tugged Shiro’s chin so that they could see his face. Shiro was shaking his head, trying not to cry again, but Kolivan was holding onto Shiro’s arms and speaking so softly and sweetly to their lover. 

“I do not need to have sex to be happy. All I need is someone who will let me love them unconditionally. And you have allowed me to do that. And I wish to continue doing that. Shiro, you are the most important thing in my life. I would do anything to make sure you are happy.”

At this, Shiro froze in Kolivan’s hands. He couldn’t believe the words that had been spoken, grey hues glancing all around for some sort of sign that would tell him he was being lied to. But he found none. Kolivan was speaking the truth and Shiro launched himself at his lover, holding him tightly as he buried his face into the crook of his neck,

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” He repeated over and over as Kolivan held him close.

They both had been through hardships yet still came out the other side. And now they had each other, a magical love that neither thought they deserved but one they were willing to hold onto for dear life. They had both been terrified of falling in love, and now they had done so with each other, and wanted the other half to know. 

They were each other’s person. 

“I’m sorry.” Shiro said softly after a while.

“Do not be. It is hard for both of us, but I am glad that I said it. I do love you, Shiro. And I will be right here with you for as long as you’ll have me.” He nuzzled against Shiro, petting the shorthairs from his undercut.

Shiro hummed softly, adjusting himself so he could be somehow even closer to Kolivan than before. Between the gentle strokes that Kolivan was giving him and the purring emanating from their body, Shiro found himself lulled into a gentle sleep.


	7. Chapter Seven

Shiro’s footsteps echoed in the nearly empty dressing room as he paced back and forth, flesh hand gripping at the metal one nervously. His eyes kept darting from the floor to the clock as time slowly crept towards the time for his performance. 

“Shiro, please. You'll pace yourself into a rut,” Kolivan said, offering their hand to him. He took it, which allowed Kolivan to bring him close and begin fixing his attire. He looked pristine, but the anxiety had made him look disheveled. 

“Sorry,” Shiro started, but Kolivan hushed him with a kiss to the head. 

“You'll be fine.”

“But I still can't get that run, Kolivan! I'm not-”

“Listen to me.” Kolivan’s voice was soft, comforting but still stern. “You can do this. Tonight, I don't want you to think about the music.”

“But-!”

“Let me finish.” They waited until Shiro bowed his head, eyes looking at where their fingers were intertwined. “I know that Beethoven is not your strong suit, and that you would rather play Mozart or Chopin. So, I want you to pretend you're playing Mozart. I want you to lose yourself to the music and find something that makes you happy on that stage. Think about how you were able to play Debussy the day we met. Or when you played Mozart with Allura. You know this music. Don’t think about the music. Think about the emotions. Your emotions.  _ That _ is how you are the best musician. You think with your heart, rather than with your brain.”

Shiro looked at Kolivan expressionless for a moment before a small smile appeared on his face. He could do this. Kolivan believed in him. And if that wasn’t enough then nothing else mattered. 

He kissed them softly for a moment before they were interrupted by a knock on the door. It opened, showing Allura in a dark blue ball gown that had white sparkles that started along the top of her dress before fading the further down her dress they went. They were almost like little stars. She looked beautiful. 

“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt. They’re starting soon.”

Shiro nodded. “Thank you, Allura. I’ll be out in a moment.”

She smiled, then closed the door. 

He turned back to Kolivan who was smiling at him proudly. 

“I’ll be right out there, watching the whole time,” they said softly, squeezing their hands. They pressed their foreheads together, giving Shiro a soft purr, then pulled back again to make their leave. 

Shiro took a deep breath, exhaled, and went out to join Allura. 

The two pianists looked at each other a moment. They were supposed to be rivals. Had this been a TV show, they would have hated each other. But they didn’t. They were friends. They couldn’t hate each other. Instead, they pulled each other into a tight hug. After a moment they pulled apart, looking at each other once more. They walked together backstage. 

“Ladies and gentleman of all species. Welcome to the Finale of our Spring Recital,” Coran’s voice could be heard. “All evening we have given you truly amazing pieces from all over our campus, and now we head into the last part. Our next two performers are our pianists. First up is Princess Allura of Altea who will be performing Flajkil’s  _ Junibary. _ ”

The room erupted into applause as Coran came backstage and Allura went on stage. From the wings, Shiro could see her whole performance. She bowed, sat down on the bench, and began her piece. It sounded something that Rachmaninoff would have written. He listened silently as she played, making note of how she moved as she sat. She was tense, almost too tense. This recital meant a lot to her as well. If she flubbed it, then she lost her place as a Paladin. She was pouring everything into this, to a point where it was almost sloppy, but it wasn’t. It was just intense and made everyone feel on edge while also being exhilarated. He watched as she played with such passionate intensity it scared him. The piece ended with Allura banging the last chord violently, letting it echo through the hall, which was stuck in a shocked silence before they slowly began to applaud loudly. Everyone had been so entranced by her intensity, they had barely noticed she had finished. 

She gave a curtsy, then turned and walked off stage. She gave a nod to Shiro, who nodded back. She had just given her all to the piece and was now challenging him to do the same.

“Our last performance for tonight is Takashi Shirogane who will be performing Beethoven’s  _ Moonlight Sonata _ .”

The room applauded once more as Coran exited and Shiro walked on stage. Bright lights blinded him from seeing how many people sat in the audience. He bowed, which allowed him to see that Kolivan, Keith, Matt, Lance, Pidge, Thace and Ulaz all sat in the front row. Between Kolivan and Keith sat a face Shiro had not seen in years, one that resembled his own so remarkably, it was uncanny. 

He sat down on the piano bench. His heart hammered in his chest. He took a deep breath so he could steady himself. He lifted his hands and began to play. He focused on what Kolivan had said, channeling his emotions into the piece. He thought about all that he had endured since the accident. He thought about the months of therapy that got him back to acting like a human being that wasn’t addicted to morphine. He thought about how far he had come in just a few months time. As he headed into the second movement, a more joyful one, he thought about Kolivan and how much he loved them. He thought about his brother, how much he loved and missed him. He thought about all the experiences in life he had dealt with thus far and how they had all led to this moment and how proud he was of himself for not giving up. As the second movement ended, he prepared himself for the third moment by completely ignoring the piano and focusing solely on his emotions. Here is where he put all of his anxieties about having his new arm. He didn’t listen to the keys. He just closed his eyes and put himself in a place that let it felt like he was fighting all of his emotions about the metal arm attached to him and didn’t think about anything else. He ended with a triumphant last chord, breathing heavy as the room erupted in applause. 

Shiro smiled proudly as he stood and bowed. He caught eyes with Kolivan, who looked up at him with a proud smile. He swore that even with the room full of applause, he could hear them purring. 

In that moment, Shiro realized he no longer cared if he became a Paladin again or not. He had everything he could ever want with Kolivan. His friends supported him. He had a mate who loved him despite his flaws. He didn’t care about being a Paladin. He only cared about letting himself love and be loved by those around him. He wore a smile the whole rest of the night. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for the mods of the Shiro Big Bang for running this. And a special thank you to Arka and Sei for dealing with my frantic screaming over this fic for the past few months, you both are blessings.
> 
> Event: http://voltronbigbang.tumblr.com/  
> Me: http://itbespacegays.tumblr.com  
> Arka: http://xblackpaladin.tumblr.com  
> Sei: http://seitoushi.tumblr.com


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